As I have spent extensive time seeking the Lord over this past month, it seems that He has brought everything I have learned to one central point.
I've soaked in His unfailing love for me.
I've meditated on being a child of God.
I've made it a point to call God "Daddy" or "Papa."
I've studied on avoiding temptation.
I've sought out what true holiness means.
I've focused on eagerly awaiting His return.
I've deliberately studied the life of Jesus.
I've recognized what being a new creation means.
I've understood the true meaning of baptism.
I've gazed into His beautiful eyes for hours.
I've practiced the gifts of the Spirit (prophecy, healing, tongues).
All of this has come to one central point in my heart: my identity in Christ.
Today I realized what may be the most important thing I have ever realized: temptation is not avoided by trying to avoid temptation. Temptation is avoided because I know who I am in Christ.
As I have specifically been working on recovering from my eating disorder and fighting the temptation to continually use behaviors and to focus on my body/losing weight, I have come to the conclusion that these things will NEVER in my life be defeated if I focus on stopping them. In fact, in Colossians 2:20-23 we learn that by trying NOT to do things, we will most likely end up doing them. (Yes, this is in the Bible, read it for yourself!)
The only way I will ever beat this eating disorder, the only way I will ever have complete victory over temptation and other such things in life, is by knowing WHO I am in Christ and WHOSE I am in general.
And so everything I have spent time focusing on over this past month has come down to that: GOD, SHOW ME WHO I AM.
How You love me shows me who I am.
How I am Your CHILD shows me who I am.
How You're my DADDY shows me who I am.
How I have victory temptation shows me who I am!
How I live holy and how I AM holy shows me who I am.
How I so desperately long for Your return shows me who I am.
How I can live to be Your hands and feet by Your example shows me who I am.
How I have been completely made knew and died to my old self shows me who I am.
How I became that new creation and died to my old self by coming out of the water shows me who I am.
How I can spend hours upon hours, even into the early morning on some days, gazing into Your eyes shows me who I am.
How I can experienced the gifts that being filled with Your Spirit provides, to both edify myself and the Body, and to live in Your complete healing shows me who I am.
I AM YOURS.
And so I've been learning.
I will overcome,
and I HAVE overcome,
because I am YOURS.
A child of God.
A princess of the King.
A holy servant of the great High Priest.
One who has COMPLETE inheritance in Your Kingdom.
Who has authority and power because You've given me those keys.
And this is why I'm free. This is why I can live free.
And, so I have learned the greatest lesson over this past month.
And, so I will continue to keep pressing into this every single day of my life.
I say YES and AMEN to all You have for me.
I want it all. I won't settle with a little of You, God. I want the full knowledge of You. I want in to Your mysteries, because they are my inheritance. I will never settle or be satisfied. I will always pursue You more and more and more because I KNOW WHO I AM IN YOU.
Amen.
